Jackson James Wood’s Friendship Overtures Rebuffed

Wednesday, 27 May 2009, 3:47 pm
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Jackson James Wood’s Friendship Overtures Rebuffed

For Immediate Release

Mount Albert aspirant and long time lamington lover Jackson Wood yesterday spread the lamington love around his fellow candidates.

Wood, who was unable to attend a briefing meeting run by the Mount Albert Returning Officer, sent along his Campaign Manager (Auckland Branch) Jason Tiller, bearing gifts of friendship to his political enemies.

Mr. Tiller distributed lamingtons to the other hopeful candidates, as a way of breaking the tension. Many of the candidates were quite chuffed at the light refreshments, with Melissa Lee reputedly exclaiming “Oh goody!” upon receiving her treat.

One candidate remained unimpressed by Wood’s generosity. Act MP John Boscawen refused the staple New Zealand dish and went so far as to scowl menacingly at Mr. Tiller for the rest of the evening.

Boscowen could not be contacted for comment on why he refused to accept the gracious gift of a lamington from Mr. Wood.

“I consider this a massive insult by the ACT candidate. I extend the hand of friendship, holding a delicious coconut-covered lamington and he takes said lamington and metaphorically rubs it all over my head, or something,” Wood said.

“One might even consider refusing a lamington to be a repudiation of New Zealand custom, and it is for this reason that I wish to alter the parliamentary oath to prevent MP’s in future refusing the lamington of peace.

“In future I will keep my lamingtons to myself when it comes to ingrates like Mr. Boscawen.”

ENDS


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