@DrBrash, the Twitter celebrity beloved by left and right wing alike, has finally called it quits. He has rapped his last #BrashRap. He has broiled his last #FurChicken. He has hashed his last hashtag. He has tweeted his last Tweet.
“At 1:40 this afternoon @DrBrash sent his final tweet,” said Jackson Wood (@_jjw_) a spokesperson for the good doctor.
Another spokesperson for @DrBrash said that much like his real life counterpart — Dr Donald Brash — the @DrBrash Twitter account seemed to be malingering.
“He’s really just been lazing around the last couple of months since the election,” Joshua Drummond (@josh_drummond) said. “He’s been all getting into trouble and not really focusing on the issues close to his heart and shit.”
@DrBrash was born at precisely the moment that Dr Donald Brash ascended to the ACT party leadership. Much like his so-called “real-life” counterpart, he immediately entertained and mystified all who heard his pronouncements.
Much unlike his counterpart, he immediately attracted followers. @DrBrash soon became New Zealand’s most popular and competent Twitter parody account. Bomber Bradbury and others charged, apparently seriously, that @DrBrash was an ACT party initiative to boost ACT’s profile by destroying them from the inside. You know, because that makes sense. While not true of @DrBrash, it was certainly true of Dr Donald Brash.
Speculation raged about whether @DrBrash was actually Dr Donald Brash. Noted satirists Steve Braunias, David Slack and Lachlan Forsyth were all accused of running the account. @DrBrash’s spokespersons will not comment on rumour and speculation.
“I cannot recall who started the @DrBrash account, set its tone, and was responsible for its success,” said Jackson Wood with a knowing wink.
“I can’t recall who ran the @DrBrash account during the 2011 New Zealand General Election,” said Josh Drummond with a sly tap on his nose.
Both Wood and Drummond agree that they will not be taking questions as to whether they had managed the account jointly since. “Let’s be honest, the whole thing was probably John Banks, and he just can’t recall doing it.” they said. “Poor bastard. It’s so sad what’s happening to his memory.”
“What’s important here,” grinned Wood, “is that we remember the various manifestations of Brash properly — both the Twitter personality and that thing that roams around in real life.
“Dr Brash single-handedly destroyed the ACT Party and ensured that the most satirical outcome possible in the 2011 General Election,” Wood chirped.
“Not only is Winston back in Parliament, but a bumbling (and allegedly corrupt) idiot who shares little ideology in common with the ACT Party is now its only representative,” Drummond burbled. “It looks Banks’ future may lie in being the single most inept contestant ever on Would I Lie To You.”
Wood also warned that satirical press releases about @DrBrash’s death may turn out to be greatly exaggerated.
“Whenever New Zealand is in political trouble, Dr Brash will rise from his slumber to make pithy, expletive laden, comments,” Wood gibbered. “He’s risen from the dead before. He might very well do it again.”
@DrBrash’s Greatest Twit-hits
Oh dear. Poor John Banks. Watching Campbell Live just now, I am struck by just how far his senility has progressed. #ICantRecall
BREAKING: A Maori spotted in Epsom. Armed Offenders squad on the scene. #TVNZStoryIdeas
We believe men can do absolutely anything they set their minds to. Except change the climate, that’s impossible #TopTenReasonsToVoteAct
The less money and power government has, the more effective it is. #HomeopathicPolitics
I don’t see Act’s unpopularity as a bad thing. The less popular we are, the more disaffected indie music kids are going to vote for us
TV3 cut it off, but the last words of John Banks’ victory speech were “THE ARISTOCRATS!” #TheAristocrats #VoteNZ
List of achievements (@DrBrash and Dr Donald Brash)
- Named Metro’s Tweeter of the year
- Crashing Phil Goff’s Twitter Q+A
- Making people think that @DrBrash was really Dr Donald Brash (we’re not saying he isn’t. He might be).
- Single-handedly destroying the ACT Party’s reputation and ensuring that the most satirical outcome for ACT — a person who shares little in common with the party — was its only representative after the election.
- Starting many hashtags on Twitter, including, but not limited to: #BrashRaps #TVNZStoryIdeas and #BATNZQuestions
- This utterly, utterly bizarre interview http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/capital-life/cafe-scene/cafe-reviews/5659169/Don-Brash-I-love-junk-food
- Popularised the notion of both reducing New Zealand’s feral cat problem and feeding the poor all at once through the consumption of delicious #FurChickens
- Receiving the coveted Stolen Rum from ASP Award judge David Farrier for starting #TVNZStoryIdeas