All posts in Public Service Announcements

drawmea.net

My friend Josh, AKA cakeburger, has a brother who has just started a cool website drawmea.net.

Leon does pretty much what the name on the website says. You ask him to “draw me a…” and then he does it.

I asked Leon to draw me a caricature of me. Here is the bloody awesome result.

jackson_halo Continue reading →

Fuck you, New Zealand Bill

I was walking along upper Lambton Quay this morning, when a paper plane soared out of the ninth floor of the Beehive and hit me.

 

This goes a long way to explaining a few things that the National Government has done since taking the tiller in 2008. Claire Browning over on Pundit so clearly shows a lot of the tomfoolery that they’ve gotten up to here.

But we’ve also got the following people putting their two cents in as well:

And there are a whole bunch more people whom I have missed out who are politely, and not so politely (I’m looking at you, Keith), pointing out the total and utter contempt that this Government has for the people of New Zealand, our democratic systems, and our environment.

When we look at it like this, the Fuck You, New Zealand Bill is the obvious next step.

Edited: Just added, and will continue to add people putting their two cents in.

Legal complaint to The Civilian

Miles, Miles & Partners
Private Bag 1337
Wellington, New Zealand

May 8, 2013

Mr Ben Uffindell
Editor, The Civilian
Christchurch, New Zealand

BY EMAIL

Dear Mr Uffindell,

I write on behalf of my client, a Mr. Jackson James Wood, with regard to repeated incorrect quotations from him by your publication, The Civilian.

Specifically, over the last six months, Mr Wood has never once been quoted as saying anything in your publication. This is patently untrue and incorrect, and construes a slur upon Mr. Wood’s reputation.

Over the time in which he has been not quoted by your publication, Mr Wood has in fact spoken on several occasions — and, on more than one of these occasions, I myself have been present and heard the comments made.

Only yesterday, over a curry in the dead city of Wellington, Mr Wood made several pithy remarks regarding the changeable weather and the state of Cricket in this country. None of these were reported in The Civilian, giving your readers the clear implication that Mr Wood had said nothing at all.

My client is extremely concerned your implication he is mute, totally devoid of speech, or just extremely socially awkward, is an unwarranted and frankly scurrilous accusation which holds no basis in fact. Given the high standing of your publication in New Zealand’s media landscape, we are gravely concerned the people of New Zealand will begin to see him as less eloquent than he truly is. Indeed, I have already received several inquiries, arising from your inaccurate non-quotation, from the public around the mute or otherwise status of my client, including one from a Mr. C Craig of Auckland who was wholly taken in by your lack of comments.

I have in my possession signed affidavits from Mr Wood’s mother, myself, and the “dude” who makes him coffee in the morning testifying my client can talk, talks often, and, in some cases, too much. In fact, I have sometimes wished he would just shut up. Moreover, the statement from Mr Wood’s mother is very clear that his ability to speak and sometimes even to form complex sentences has been ongoing since the age of sixteen.

My client asks if you even know who he is?

In order to rectify this egregious oversight in future, I hereby demand on behalf of my client that The Civilian, at its own cost, employ a sufficient number of stenographers so as to follow my client at all times to record his comments, and ensure that he is henceforth quoted fully and correctly in your publication.

We also require that The Civilian, again at its own cost, collect, obtain and publish a transcript of all of Mr. Wood’s remarks to date so as to correct the current, incorrect, state of affairs.

If these demands are not met, Mr Wood will have no option but to give consideration to baseless legal action and the drawing out of further ridicule onto himself.

It is my hope that this matter can be resolved to our mutual satisfaction.

Yours sincerely,

Daniel J Miles
Non-attorney at law
@danieljmiles

ON BEHALF OF

Jackson James Wood
Layabout
@_jjw_

JURASSIC PARK DAYCARE

Earlier in the year I was in a play called Rageface by Adam Goodall.

To raise money for said play, he used the crowd funding site Pledgeme. It’s really cool. Because I pledged some money, Mr Goodall wrote me a piece of fan fiction as a reward. It is too good not to share. So here it is: Continue reading →

Ray-schist

rayschist

On tonight’s The Vote, the team were discussing whether New Zealand is racist.

Except a few of the people were pronouncing the word “racist” in a funny way: ray-schist (as opposed to ray-cyst).

The online MacMillian dictionary has the ‘cyst’ sound.

But then this random site with different country’s pronounciations has a New Zealander with a definite ‘schist’ twang.

Can anyone explain? Why the rocky sound? Where did it come from?

 

DOC boss silences staff

Today is Love DOC Day, a day to celebrate our wonderful Department of Conservation in light of the recent cuts to funding and staff made by DOC’s Director General and the National Government.

A comment on Nicola Toki’s In our Nature blog points towards Senior DOC management not being very happy about this.

GaiaGirl
Thanks Nic, great explanation of what is going on and I love the quote from Don Merton. Thanks to Forest and Bird for all their support.
From a DOC worker.

Grand Canyon
DOC workers have been explicitly told by Al Morrison at Head Office NOT to respond, comment or endorse anything to do with Forest & Bird’s “political campaign” today. Which is why this person called themselves “a DOC worker”. The real political agenda emanates from Al Morrison and his spin doctor cronies who have clearly taken over the asylum.

So has Mr Morrison tried to silence his staff?

Looks like it.

This email was sent out on Monday to L\ALL S&T Terrestrial Ecosystems Managers and forwarded down the chain a few times.

From:
Sent: Monday, 8 April 2013 4:29 p.m.
To: L\All
Subject: FW: Love Doc Day

Please advise your staff that we should not be involved in this event other than to be polite if apprehended. We will know who normally wears a green ribbon or arm band.

That last part sounds rather ominous.

Mr Morrison was in this week’s Listener banging on and on about how conservationists do not understand how DOC and business can work together.

Bullshit. That is a tired old line. Today’s activities highlight how tired and how out of touch Mr Morisson is. Despite business, despite cashing in on our natural resources (which we’re fucking up), despite all that, real New Zealanders LOVE DOC and expect them to be able to do their job because it is bloody important.

Why can DOC staff not be allowed to love the place they work? I thought Mr Morrison would be encouraging that, given that they’re not doing it for the money.

2013-04-11 12.41.26

Save the RMA

save-the-rma

The Resource Management Act is for most people just the piece of legislation that means they can’t put up that deck without going down the the council.

It is much more than that. It is one of the fundamental pieces of legislation that protects our environment. It sets down the principles by which we use our land and resources. When it was passed in the early 90s it was 20 years ahead of its time, which is why, with climate change, freshwater problems, and other environmental issues, it is the time we need it now. Continue reading →

Employment Relations (Siestas for Everyone) Amendment Bill

Employment Relations (Siestas for Everyone) Amendment Bill by Jackson James Wood

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF RICHARD PROSSER (PART 2)

For part one see here.

1.54 pm I was greeted at the airport by a man holding a sign with my name on it. He looked suspiciously like TV3 personality Ali Ikram (who may or may not be a terrorist. He doesn’t have a beard. I do. I must remember to shave it off when… if… I get back). I managed to take a photo of my on my tax-payer purchased iPhone before he spotted me. Continue reading →

Te whakahoki

YAY. Mr Ansell replied to my email. But he seems to have gotten the wrong end of the taiaha. Continue reading →