All posts in Pranks

Wood On Liquor Law Reform

Wednesday, 13 May 2009, 12:30 pm
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Wood On Liquor Law Reform

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mount Albert candidate and alcohol aficionado Jackson James Wood is praising Sir Geoffrey Palmer’s claim that alcohol laws are too important to be left to a conscience vote.
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Breakfast addict

That time I was stopped by Matty McLean on Lambton Quay and asked about sex addiction. Paul Henry liked my sass.

Jackson James Wood Floats New Solution To Waterview Connection

Tuesday, 12 May 2009, 2:21 pm
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Jackson James Wood Floats New Solution To Waterview Connection

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mount Albert candidate and unlicensed driver Jackson James Wood today applauded the decision of Transport Minister Steven Joyce not to fund a tunnel through the Mount Albert electorate, while simultaneously expressing concern that the most logical solution is being ignored.
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Jackson James Wood Challenges Other Candidates

Tuesday, 5 May 2009, 2:39 pm
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Jackson James Wood Challenges Other Candidates

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mt. Albert’s favourite second cousin and arguably front running candidate Jackson James Wood today challenged the other aspirants to a duel at dawn atop the mighty heights of Mount Albert itself.
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Sith laugh evilly at Libertarianz

Thursday, 10 February 2011, 1:44 pm
Press Release: Sith Conclave
Sith laugh evilly at Libertarianz

Press release in response to this release from the Jedi High Council.

The Libertarianz party of New Zealand is destined to be one of mediocrity and will never truly know the power of the Dark Side, the New Zealand Sith Conclave said today.
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Heads Roll In Wood Campaign

Monday, 27 April 2009, 12:06 pm
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Heads Roll In Wood Campaign

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

First time political aspirant Jackson James Wood today admitted to a dramatic setback in his campaign, with the firing of several key staff members.
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Lighter Future

It will be an uplifting experience. Created in the lead up to the 2011 election.

Statement on Russel Norman’s Candidacy

Friday, 24 April 2009, 9:46 am
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Statement on Russel Norman’s Candidacy

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Jackson James Wood, candidate for Mount Albert, today expressed concern over the entry of Greens co-leader Russel Norman into the tightly contested race.
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Lawsavelli

Something I threw together once when Michael Laws was being a pratt.

Declaring Candidacy for Mt. Albert

Tuesday, 21 April 2009, 4:08 pm
Press Release: Jackson Wood
Declaring Candidacy for Mt. Albert

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Crowds numbering into the hundreds assembled in the Victoria University quad today for the declaration of candidacy of Jackson James Wood in the Mt. Albert by-election.
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